Yesterday, I tweeted about the revised Master/slave protocols that will appear in the D/sM-V, due to be published next year. Here are a few of the new official protocols:
- A slave must walk six paces behind their Master… backwards.
- In war zones, a slave must walk ahead of their Master while doing the Charleston, thus clearing any landmines in their path.
- If a slave wishes to be released, they must notify their Master via singing telegram.
- A Master may castrate a male slave without his consent, but the only acceptable method for castration is by locking the slave in the bathroom with a family of irritable badgers.
- Upon receiving instructions, a slave must signal compliance by rolling their eyes and saying “Whatever!” with an exaggerated sigh. Making a W with their hands is optional.
- A Master may recruit slaves by setting bear traps in dark corners of a Leather bar.
- Slaves may only safeword in a tonal language like Cantonese.
- If a Master has three or more slaves, he must make them into a human centipede.
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Please feel free. Thank you.
This site cracks me up. This is the first BDSM anything that twuly gets it.
My baby girl does this one some of the time
Upon receiving instructions, a slave must signal compliance by rolling their eyes and saying “Whatever!” with an exaggerated sigh. Making a W with their hands is optional.